Where did all that Cellulite come from?!

I went bathing suit shopping the other day, which is probably the thing I hate the most when it comes to purchasing new clothing.

I started my day off all excited about the prospect of a new bathing suit. I envisioned myself in this gorgeous suit making me look like the supermodel I envisioned myself to be. I got in my car, drove to the mall, and headed straight for the store with my mission in hand.

Upon entering the store I was dazzled by a sea of color as the ENTIRE store was bathing suits! Grabbing a dozen different colors and styles, I headed into the changing room with anticipation. Launching into the pile with the exuberance of a child at Christmas, I grabbed the first brightly color suit and threw it on.

Gasp!

I was utterly not prepared for what happened next! As I stared in the mirror I looked with horror and realized…TOP-DOWN LIGHTING!!

O-M-G!

WHY on earth do they have top-down white lighting that highlights every flaw, all of the canyons, crevasses, and pits on one’s body that were never visible before?! I mean, are they trying to discourage us from purchasing?!

I looked at myself in the mirror dissecting every flaw from every angle possible. Twisting and turning my body and head so much that at some point I thought it would snap back at full force like a wound-up rubber band!

At one point the woman who worked in the store came to the change room and asked me if I was okay. Really? Am I OK?! I felt like yelling back “No! I’m not okay! I look like I had the moon, and I have no idea how I got so old! My hair, it’s so dry and grey, and the wrinkles on my face! Ahhh!”

But I didn’t. I just shouted back jovially, “I’m great! Just deciding which one!” Ugh. Right. Which one to lob at the mirror while I do a dance on the rest!

It took me several minutes to get my wits about me and try to look at the bathing suits objectively. I figured if I didn’t get anything too fancy, nor too bright, I could muster up the courage to make a decision.

I left with two bathing suits that day, but only after I sat myself down on the little chair that was piled with tossed bathing suits and a beaten self-esteem.

While driving home I realized how hard I was on myself, how after years of self-development, being a Personal Fitness Trainer, Coaching Women on how to love who they are, it still affected me. In our body-focused society, we are subconsciously (and consciously) bombarded with how inadequate we are. It is the subliminal messages we are sent on a daily basis that we don’t realize how much they affect how we perceive ourselves.

Walking into that bathing suit store I was feeling so good about myself but something changed. Looking back at my shopping experience, I recall noticing the posters plastered on the walls of sexy looking 20-something women in bikinis, slim, tall, vivacious, that clearly have been photo-shopped and it leaves an imprint on us without us being aware. We compare ourselves every chance we get, for aging, sagging, wrinkling, for not being tall, short, big-breasted or small-breasted.

…and it has to stop!

None of us are ‘perfect’, all of us have ‘flaws,’ and many of us notice the flaws accumulate as we get older, and that’s okay. In fact, it dawned on me that we perceive are ‘flaws’ aren’t actually flaws at all! They’re badges of honour, honour that we have been given this life to live, honour that we have made it this far, honour that we have this amazing body to live in that puts up with all of our craziness. If we change our perspective on our ‘flaws,’ then we can then view ourselves in a whole new light.

We all age…WE ALL DO, so why do we feel we are alone? We are meant to age, it gives us our depth, our endearing qualities, our ability to say “f**k it” and like me as I am! And what a power that is!

Confidence is always more sexy then a six pack, just look at the opposite sex and you’ll agree!

So ladies, stop being so hard on yourself. We are our own worst judges and the reality is, everyone else is feeling the same way about themselves, so let’s just all agree to stop, love who we are, try on that damn bikini, and rock it at the beach, moonscape and all.

~ Monika xo

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